Sunday, May 31, 2009

Angels among us!

It is hard to fathom what a woman goes through before she chooses adoption for the child she has been carrying for 9 months. The tears, sadness, and anxiety that must go along with that is incomprehensible to me. As hard as the infertility process has been to go through, I still think I am on the easy side of the equation. For a woman to be so strong to go through a surprise pregnancy, that she is not prepared for . . . . and CHOOSE LIFE, only to give another desiring woman the family she has dreamed of is an angel (in my opinion).

Adoption has been such a pure blessing for us. It is surreal and humbling to know that there is a woman out there that chose us (still crazy to me) to forever be the parents to our dear Jadon. I think about this often as I think about the fact that there is another woman out there that will at some point see our letter and think we are the perfect family for her child. I pray for that woman and her family often and my heart breaks for her when I think of what she will go through.

Our church service today (First Baptist Garland) was wonderful . . . I shall share a few passages that hit home with me.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9

I have said before . . . we knew we wanted a family . . . we planned our course . . . it definitely did not happen the way that we thought it would but we would have it no other way! God took our desires and put them in the steps HE desired and knew would be the best for us. It is comforting to know that we have a Father that knows what is best for us (even if at times we disagree). He ALWAYS has control and loves us unconditionally.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Our wonderful and blessed life . . . in pictures!

Here are some of the picture pages we included in our profile letter for birth families to see. Hopefully it will give them a picture of what we are like as a family!

The nursery pic is the room Jadon currently has (of course with a twin bed). Baby Holland will get that room as Jadon will move into his new Monster Truck bedroom that he is helping design (Blue and Orange walls are his choices . . . oh boy!). We are debating on redecorating the nursery once baby Holland arrives.


Saturday, May 23, 2009

Sunshine, Sprinklers, and Crockpots!

It is such a BEAUTIFUL day here in Texas! Jadon and I were able to go out and plant some flowers, run in the sprinklers and of course get an awesome dinner ready in the crock pot!

For those of you who do not use your crock pot . . . you need to! There is nothing like throwing in your meal at the beginning of the day and not be interrupted from playing to cook dinner!

Anyway . . . here are some fun pics of Jadon from our fun in the Sun!

Jadon's Sunflowers!

So Proud!

First Sprinkler Run of the Season!

All Boy!

Dinner for later!

We're Approved!

The whole home study process is awkward! It seems so unnatural and yes unfair that we have to go through all of the little hoops to become parents. Don't get me wrong . . . I understand why we have to go through the process and wouldn't have it any other way.

I feel so blessed EVERY day that Jadon is in our lives. I still look at him 4 1/2 years later and can't believe that someone very special chose us to raise him. That person was an angel that God chose to carry our son for us and we are eternally grateful!

Now we wait for Holland #2 and are comforted with the fact that God is protecting that child the same way he protected Jadon. It is awesome to know that I can give it up to God (although I have to admit it is not always easy) when I worry about "what ifs".

Anyway . . . for now we have the letter . . . the letter that tells us we are approved! That is reassuring and exciting! Now we let everything happen in God's timing!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

I live at preschool?

With all of this adoption stuff going on we have decided to get Jadon started in something just for him. KARATE! The boy LOVES it! The instructor is great and at the end of each class he makes each kid talk. They are to say something so that they can become more comfortable speaking in front of their peers. Jadon introduced himself and this is what he said . . . . "My name is Jadon Holland, I am 4 years old, and I live at preschool."

Seriously, I have this on video (which I am so glad) but the video is on my old very difficult to deal with camcorder so it is not easy to post. Anyway, Stephen and I were just rolling at this point. He lives at preschool? Really? Well, he does love preschool and I am so glad he enjoys it! Just thought I would share . . . . I guess I will go check on my sweet little boy as he sleeps at preschool!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

God hears our prayers!

This is the story of how the Lord Jesus Christ protected our son and heard our prayers before he was ours.

JANUARY 2004 – We had just started the adoption process. Our church at the end of every January has a “Celebration of Life” service. It is a service that talks about the importance of choosing life and the support of Dallas Pregnancy Center. Of course sitting through this service, as we so badly wanted a child, was pretty difficult as we could not even fathom the thought of abortion. It was on celebration of life Sunday 2004 that God gave me a specific prayer . . . it was to save a baby from abortion and place that child into a loving home. It didn’t have to be our home . . . just a home that the child would grow up and learn to love God. Our church at the time handed out little stickers of baby feet the size of a child at 6 – 8 weeks in utero to show that they were in fact little babies. The sticker shows tiny perfectly formed feet. I took that little sticker and stuck it to the inner cover of my bible as I sat in that service and prayed. That sticker remains in my bible today.

SEPTEMBER 10, 2004 – Jadon was born. We chose the name Jadon because it meant “God has heard” and “Thankful”. We were so thankful that God had heard our prayers.

JANUARY 2005 – I sit in the Celebration of Life service and look at the little sticker that is in my bible. It hits me that at the time I was saying that prayer in January of 2004, Jadon was about somewhere around 8 weeks in utero. Of course at this point I am in the service with tears in my eyes as this realization comes over me. I had not realized until this very day how my specific prayers from one year ago were answered. I don’t know why I did not remember that specific prayer until one year later . . . but God wanted me to. I guess he wanted to remind me how he works. God protected him throughout and gave his birth parents the strength to bring him into this world to become our son. I also believe that God heard my specific prayer and chose to give me what I had asked.  I look at him every day and wonder what life would be with out him. He is so full of joy and life. We are so grateful to Jadon’s birth family for bringing him into the world for us and we hope that they see the joy that he has given us and know how much we love them.  It is our prayer as well that they see Christ in Jadon and that someday they too will know our God.

JANUARY 2009 – 5 years later we are starting the adoption process again. Most likely it will take a lot longer than the 9 months that it took for us to adopt Jadon. That is OK . . . we know God has a perfect plan and we are so excited to see how it will work out. God has shown us very clearly with Jadon that he is in control and hears our prayers. We have no doubt that he sees our future and is protecting our future child and his or her birth family.

OTHER THOUGHTS - Why do I write this? Not for any other reason than to show how amazing God is. God does listen to our prayers. Even though our prayers are not always answered in the way we would like them to be, he always has a plan. When wishing to start our family, we never thought we would have to go the route of adoption . . . but we are so glad that we did. It now gives us a clear understanding of what it is like to be adopted by Christ. I can’t imagine living this life with out Jadon . . . he is our joy, our life and our most precious gift. It is amazing that our God thinks this way of us.

Jadon's adoption story . . .

I wrote this awhile ago but it seems fitting to post it here.

I am telling this story . . . because I love to. As we look to start the journey again this year I find myself reflecting on how our beautiful son came to be ours! On ..Sunday, September 12, 2004 at about 6:15pm at night, Stephen and I were on our way home from a church youth meeting and my cell phone started ringing. I looked at the number and then looked at Stephen as I didn't recognize the number. You see, at that time not knowing the number always meant "it could be the agency". Sure enough, I picked up the phone and it was Sarah from the agency. They told me that a baby was born on Friday and that the birthparents had decided to place and they wanted to show them our profile as they were headed to the hospital at that very moment. We of course told them YES and also found out that the birth family would be looking at 2 other profiles. Sarah told me that she would show our profile and let us know hopefully in a few hours as the baby needed a new home the very next day. So we hung up the phone and waaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiited.

I think both Stephen and I knew in our gut that this was our child . . . I just can't explain it . . . it is a feeling you get inside. Our profile had been shown to 2 other birth mothers and they had not chosen us . . . so what made this different? My husband said he had a peace about it. He must have as during our 2 1/2 hour wait to find out, he left me at home and went and got Long Johns!

Of course I was pacing . . . cleaning the house like crazy (nesting I guess), and trying not to get my hopes up but also wanted myself to be prepared just in case we were the ones chosen. So, of course at 8:45 pm when Stephen was gone getting his Long Johns the phone call came. Sarah said "Is Stephen there?" I knew in my heart what this meant as she had never asked me that before when she had called to say that another family had been chosen. I said "No". She said "I was hoping to tell you together . . . . but congratulations . . . . you are parents of a beautiful little boy that was born on Friday."

I honestly can not even tell you all that went through my mind. All of the emotions that had been bottled up for so long . . . infertility, the adoption process, longing for a child . . . all came flooding out and I was sobbing. She told me we needed to be at Presbyterian Dallas at noon the next day to take home our new son. That was only 16 hours away!!!! She proceeded to give me more details about our new son and we hung up the phone and I waited for Stephen to get home. I knew I wouldn't be able to get the words out so I made a little sign with blue marker that said "You're a daddy".

Thank God for Walmart!! We needed boy clothes and baby items and what else is open on a Sunday night at 9:00pm. After we called all of our family we made our trip to Walmart. It was so strange walking in there and buying baby stuff. It was so much fun though. I think we got about 4 hours of sleep that night as we were what I like to call "in labor". The next morning we got ready and made our treck to the hospital which is only 25 minutes away from our house. We pulled in the parking lot about 15 minutes early and just sat. I then looked at Stephen and said "We need a name!" We had already chosen Jadon as a first name as we loved the meaning. It has 2 meanings that we could find . . . God has heard and Thankful. Obviously it was the most perfect name for our little miracle as God had heard our prayers and we were so thankful.

As we sat in the parking lot we quickly went through middle names as we had not even really talked about it. We finally settled on "Davis". We then made an awkward walk up into the hospital with an empty car seat. It was surreal to us that we would be leaving that hospital a family. When we got to the floor that we were told to go, we met Amy from adoption works. She had us sit in the lobby for a few minutes as they were still tying up some paperwork. It seemed like eternity for her to come back but when she did, she said "Are you ready?". My mind went crazy with excitement . . . and I could not believe this was really happening.

As we walked into the hospital room, I saw our birthmother standing there holding Jadon. It was an awkward silence as we had never met before. We looked at each other and I just said "Thank you for giving us a family!" through tears. She walked over to me and placed Jadon in my arms and said "Thank you for being a family that I know can take good care of him". I gave her a hug and was absolutely blown away by her strength as she handed me our new son. She chose to stay long enough to see us with Jadon and then she left. In a way she felt like an angel who was put on this earth to give us a son . . . and then she was gone. After she walked out of the room, Stephen and I just looked at our new son.

We only got about 5 minutes before they came to take him to the nursery so we could sign the adoption paperwork. As we were led to the family room to sign paperwork I said to Stephen "He could have 3 legs or 12 toes and we don't know because we didn't take him out of his blanket that he was wrapped in . . . Do you care?" Stephen said "Nope . . . he is our son!" We were both so excited that God entrusted him to us that we just wanted to be the best parents to this little boy that we could be. After we were done with the paperwork, we immediately went back to our new son. I was able to change him into a different outfit and we wrapped him in a new blanket and he was just perfect. We put him in our car seat and we were on our way home.

I don't think Stephen ever drove more carefully as we did on the way home from the hospital. We stayed away from all the highways and took the back roads the whole way home. When we arrived home our neighbors, family and close friends had all flooded our house with baby items that we didn't have (clothes, bassinet, toys, bathtub, and swing). We are so blessed to have such supportive and loving families! After everyone left . . . Stephen and I looked at each other and I said "24 hours ago we had no idea we were going to have a son at home". All in all the whole process took 9 months. We started the adoption process in January and he came home in September. As I like to say it "We had a 9 month wait and a 16 hour labor as we waited for him to come home".

Monday, May 18, 2009

Jumping in!

So . . . here we are jumping into the blogging world. We plan on using this site to keep our distant family updated on our life and adoption journey. We hope you enjoy the ride!

We finished the home study last week . . . YIPEEEE . . . can I tell you what a relief that is? We just finished our profile letter today (letter to birth family) and let me tell you . . . that is no easy task! After hours of work and prayer we were able to find the right words to describe our family. We are very excited to see where God directs our path over the next few days, months or years. For now we will remain grateful for the one on one time that we have with Jadon and pray for our future child and birth family and the decisions they will make.

Of course I will include some recent pics of Jadon! Here are some . . . fishing, playing, and of course visiting daddy at the fire station!

Have a great day!