Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Being real . . .

Does my heart ache in this process? . . . definitely . . .

Do I question God's plan? . . . . never . . . I just look at Jadon's face

Does it mean it isn't hard sometimes? . . . nope . . . many tears have fallen throughout this process

Am I scared that we may never again be "chosen"? . . . absolutely . . . I will never forget the one woman however that did choose us . . . and I am forever greatful!

Am I at peace with the path that God has chosen for us? . . . this one is a hard one for me sometimes but I know ABSOLUTELY that God is in control . . . he knows our future and has great plans . . . even if we do not understand them at times . . . I thank God for loving me . . . and planning my future . . . his plan is divine . . . this I know. He has blessed me with a wonderful husband, family, and friends . . . all of whom I cherish!

I am also VERY blessed to have recently become friends with a wonderful person whom at a young age placed her baby girl for adoption. Her daughter is now 13 (I believe). We both come from 2 different places . . . yet we have both felt the same pain in different ways. She went through that moment of difficulty as she chose to give her child life and place her in a home that she would be loved and cherished. I am so thankful that God put her in my life . . . she is absolutely precious to me as she gave someone a gift that very few can give . . . the chance to be a mother.

I love to hear her talk about the daughter she placed for adoption and the relationship she now has with her . . . yes . . . I admit (as weird as it is) I wish we had that relationship with Jadon's birth mother. I know God placed this friend of mine in my life for a reason . . . and if that only reason is to tell her how thankful I am to her for what she did for another family . . . then that is that. I often wish I could sit face to face with Jadon's birth mother and just tell her thank you. I have said it in every letter we have ever sent her . . . but I just wish I could say it to her again in person . . . from one mother to another.

Enough for now . . . just saying what is on my heart . . . there are lots of emotions this week as my sister prepares to deliver her 5th child and my brother prepares for his 4th in a few weeks (both babies will be boys). I so wish I could be in Michigan as my sister goes through this time. Please pray for a safe c-section delivery on Friday of baby boy O. and also for Baby Jackson in a few weeks.

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